is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
