Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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