she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
