I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
