so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
