I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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