the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
