How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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