he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize