Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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