12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize