I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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