Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
