You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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