I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
