fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i think my cat just said my name.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
