Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
