im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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