I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
