Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
