He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
