sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
