I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
