it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
