I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
