About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I made him laugh his dick is mine
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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