i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
