Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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