Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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