Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
