He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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