im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
