I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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