this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize