i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
