omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
