I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
