I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
