I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
