I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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