it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
