Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
