If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
