My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
