I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
be right there i have to get my cape
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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