You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
