This girl is more easily done than said...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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