Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
