just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
