So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
two words...techno handjob
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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