Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
