sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
