are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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