You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
