Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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