I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
