No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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